Dishwashers, toaster ovens, trash cans, oh my!
Date Everything is the debut game from Sassy Chap Games. However, given the level of detail to its art, voice direction, and scale, especially considering there are 100 objects to date, all fully voiced, you likely would have expected this to be accomplished by a more experienced developer. Date Everything is your typical visual novel, but its idea and scope of what it entails is a sizable leap in presentation. With numerous outcomes from a vast array of choices, Date Everything is a wild ride of flirting with your laundry hamper, trying to make peace with a rubber duck, and understanding the insecurities of the water that flows through the pipes.
Date Everything begins with you starting a brand-new job. It's your first day, and you are excited to get going and to make a name for yourself. However, it's not long into that first day that you are unexpectedly let go. Now, it's not all bad news as a mysterious text message comes through detailing the arrival of an equally mysterious package. Inside? Well, a pair of sunglasses. Now, these are not just any pair of glasses, no, no, no, these allow you to see objects in their somewhat human form, as well as talk to, assist, and date each and every object in your house.
The premise here is remarkably unique, and given that each of the 100 datebles are fully voiced by the likes of Felicia Day, Ashley Johnson, Ben Starr, Troy Baker, Laura Bailey, Roger Craig Smith, Ashly Burch, Dante Brasco, and dozens more extremely well-known names, and you'll be treated to some wild and engaging personalities and entertaining performances. Hell, even some of the developers provide voices here themselves in one of the best Easter eggs I've ever seen in a game.
From a sexually frustrated bed, a staircase that seems to be running some sort of pyramid scheme, to sporting goods equipment that is begging for a workout, there are countless characters here that are decently fleshed out in ways I've not seen in a dating simulator. That said, some simply don't get their due, and that could likely be a factor of how much time they had a certain actor for, or how late they were added into the game. While there are certainly some that are going to stand out, such as Penelope, Connie, and Hero Hime, there are a few that you'll rarely see or that their stories are minuscule when compared to the likes of the aforementioned bed, a crime-focused Bobby Pin, or Felicia Day's Skylar Specs, the pair of glasses in which you'll engage with very frequently.
You'll also have a few people that you'll receive emails and texts from, one being the mysterious hacker that sent you the glasses, who is often looking for information about what the glasses are doing, a colleague from work who is finding your story hard to believe, as well as your direct manager, who is also looking for work, and the CEO of the company who is desperately trying to find out where his “special” sunglasses went. These interactions happened pretty often during the first few days, but I went the majority of the game without hearing from them again. And, while there are different endings, you can simply end the game by walking outside and having a certain ending end your dating prospects.
With over 70,000 lines of dialogue, there is a lot to take in, countless dateables to find, converse with, alternative dialogue choices, and end up either having them love, hate, or place you in the friendzone, which adds points to your S.P.E.C.S, the pair of glasses that you'll have on your head throughout the game. How you engage with these characters, the dialogue you choose, will impact how they see you and work towards their endings. You can even date the glasses themselves by interacting with the app on your phone. However, to do that, you’ll need to push through countless dates to achieve one of those three results to up your stats in order to realize these objects into actual, real people.
You'll have two ways to interact with the home around you and your phone. The date mode allows you to focus on an object and then view it as a complete person. Turning this mode off allows you to open drawers, turn the taps on, and pry into containers to see what is in them. These view modes also change how you interact with your phone. You can talk to Skylar Specs, who is the avatar built into your glasses or your phone itself, as well as check out missions that give you vague clues on how to find new and undiscovered dateables.
My only real gripe here is a small nitpick that was a bit odd, considering how good the writing is here. As you progress on with the story and meet new dateables, there are times where you’ll interact with someone who brings in a friend or another character. These conversations can often go where the additional character won’t know you, despite already having them love you or have pushed through much of their storyline already. This happened pretty often and while some conversations, such as the one with the main menu herself, have you saying something like “I’ve already done that”, those moments have dialogue that makes that apparent and allows you to push on.
While less of an annoyance, I do wish that the heart that is viewable when you scan an object detailed who it would be if you’ve already met them, this is mostly an issue when things like the toilet paper or soap end up being the toilet and the sink, respectively. There are also some objects that do not scan, such as the rug under the dining room table or the home security module on the wall. It can, at times, feel like a miss when the same sinks, toilets, and chairs are the same people instead of others that share similar designs.
What really stands out is the writing. There are some really engaging moments that were the highlight of the journey for me. From a dominatrix in the form of a safe, the talks I’ve had with River, the water that flows throughout the house, to even chatting with some of the menus and core systems of the game. Some moments can be very real, passionate, and really make you think. That said, some characters don’t quite get the same love and are easily meant to fill out the 100 characters rather than stand out.
While finding each dateable is fairly easy, some require a bit of work. As you explore the house, you’ll find a locked door. Eventually, you have to find a key. This key is a novel find because you don’t know that you have to find another part of the house that initially isn’t visible to you. Even taking on Bobby Pin’s questline will unlock a new character, and this is the case with several others, where you’ll need to complete a character’s arc in order to place something down in the house that you can then interact with. At the time of this review, I’ve found 98 of the 100 dateables and built my various stats: Smarts, Poise, Empathy, Charm, and Sass, to levels appropriate to get the ending I preferred. That said, I do wish some of the conversations that led to those stat increases reflected the types of stats they increased.
One area of the game that I found interesting is that there will be characters that dive into some pretty harsh and adult scenarios. Sure, several characters have some sexual tension they want to unleash, such as your bed; Betty, others have issues with abuse, stalkers, or some mental health topics that can make the game uncomfortable for some players. Thankfully, you can skip these sections if you want and still benefit from the points to contribute towards those stats.
Date Everything is a solid debut for Sassy Chap Games and is one of the better dating simulators I’ve played, down to some sheer creativity and some wonderful choices on the voice cast. It’s pretty hilarious to think about the amount of star power that is here, but when you have some clever writing, a great premise, and some gorgeous artwork and vast replayability, Date Everything is the perfect package to cozy up to and share some quality time with.
Developer - Sassy Chap Games. Publisher - Team17. Released - June 17th, 2025. Available On - Xbox Series X/S, PS5, Nintendo Switch, PC. Rated - (M) Sexual Themes, Use of Alcohol, Strong Language. Platform Reviewed - Xbox Series X. Review Access - Review code was provided by the publisher for the purpose of this review.
Jeff is the original founder of Analog Stick Gaming. His favorite games include The Witcher III, the Mass Effect Trilogy, Hi-Fi Rush, Stellar Blade, Hellbade: Senua’s Sacrifice, and the Legend of Heroes series, especially Trails of Cold Steel III & IV.