South Park: Snow Day

Giving the franchise The Cold Shoulder.

South Park has had an undeniable history that shows how resilient and flexible it can be apart from its long-running TV series. Its feature film, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut was a tremendous success and had a huge impact on the future of the show. However, when It came to video games, it wasn’t until 2014 with Stick of Truth that we finally got the South Park game we all wanted. 2017’s Fractured But Whole was a remarkable follow-up, continuing the quality found in Stick of Truth, both games that felt like a true extension of the show. So, as we were shown that South Park could be adapted into video games in a truly memorable way, it’s a shame to see Snow Day return to the legacy of poorly executed licensed games. Snow Day is simply a huge miss in nearly every way. 

Snow Day leaves the look of the show behind in favor of taking its character and town into 3D, an act that was certainly the only way forward given the type of game they were making. While I would have preferred a Castle Crasher’s approach to maintaining the look of the show, I do understand why they took this path as it creates a sense of scale that wouldn’t have worked using the aesthetic and approach of the show. Still, even with that scale, Snow Day is a generic and short 5-hour multiplayer experience that I’ll likely never play again.

Snow Day opens with a cutscene handled by the actual show’s studio, detailing Cartman’s desire for a current snowstorm to turn into a snow day, thus having school cancelled. As South Park is hammered by this storm, with countless people dying to the harsh cold and excessive winter, he gets his wish and then heads out into the backyard to play with his friends and of course, the new kid from the previous two games. I do appreciate this level of canon towards the games as they continue to reference the fact that each game ended with the new kid becoming OP, thus their need to change the rules and therefore the game. It’s an interesting approach that I don’t know has a precedent elsewhere in gaming. While not really anything gameplay-related, it’s the best thing Snow Day does. 

As the kids get back together to engage in their fantasy roleplay, they attempt to grasp the origins of the snowstorm and just who could be behind this supernatural effort. While it does get a bit predictable in one part of its story, especially if you know Cartman, I did enjoy the reliance on its true villain being tied to a pretty notable point in the show’s history. 

That said, this is likely the tamest South Park has been in nearly 20 years. The Stick of Truth had us conversing with gnomes while directly under your parents having sex, to a nazi fetus that you’ll do battle with within a planned parenthood office. Hell, The Fracture But Whole had a few nine-year-olds lap-dancing on a pair of drunk men. These games went beyond even the most extreme moments of the show. Snow Day doesn’t have one single moment that stands out in this way, despite Trey Parker and Matt Stone being heavily involved.

Snow Day has you back again as the same new kid, this time paired up with three other new kids that the game does reference but the kids assure you that you are the best of the new kids. This then lends itself to Snow Day being a 4-player hack and slash adventure. This is done either with bots joining you, who only appear during battle, or with three other players online. My time with Snow Day was split with the first two levels played the day before the game was released to the final three levels at or just after launch. I tried to join another player to start the third level, but it spawned me in during the middle of the mission. Not wanting to skip out on story content, I left and attempted to have people then join my game. Sadly, no one ever did. 

There also doesn’t seem to be a way to find a lobby to see if there are people waiting in Cartman’s backyard before heading out on a mission as opposed to randomly joining a mission in progress. It’s a shame since I did jump into a few levels after beating the game and while the bots are fine enough to have at your side, especially on easy or normal, playing with other players was a night and day difference. 

Each level is roughly around an hour or so in length, and while there is a progression system tied to replaying the game over and over again to make any real progress on it, I honestly don’t see a worthwhile reason to invest that much time into it. Locations vary around South Park, but few locations take place in notable environments. Stick of Truth and The Fractured But Whole made us feel like we were in South Park, Snow Day feels like a generic selection of levels that we are told is part of this town. Sure, we visit the theatre and the school, but these areas are transition points towards the more generic and bland locations the bulk of the levels take part in.

While the presentation and approach to tackle the South Park license is disappointingly apparent, the mechanics built towards combat does show a glimmer of some solid ideas. As you begin each of the five levels available as part of the campaign, you’ll choose from a fairly limited arsenal of weapons and powers. These range from daggers, a sword and shield, to an axe, to your ranged arsenal in the bow, staff, and wand. You’ll also have a power that you can bring into battle as well that ranges from a bubble shield, ramming attack, to a fart that propels you into the air while leaving a dust cloud below.  

Where the game gets even remotely interesting is in its card system. As you begin each level, both you and the antagonist of the level, whether it be Stan, Cartman, or three other individuals, each side will pick one upgrade card to set the tone. These include upgrades to your weapons and powers, such as affecting your dagger dive, double-tapping with your bow, to your daggers dealing 25% more damage against bleeding enemies. Then, you’ll pick your bullshit card, a limited-use special card that can turn the tide of battle. From turning into a giant to having laser eyes, to summoning a group of chaos minions to fight for you, there is a modest variety here to choose from. 

While the bullshit cards are fine, it is the upgrade cards that really make this system work. As you gather Toilet Paper, which is a sought-after currency, as the game attempts to use the extreme weather as a smokescreen for COVID-19, you’ll use that TP to purchase said upgrades. This treats each level almost like a rogue-lite where you can pick and choose from a series of a few upgrades that affect your run. From changing how your staff works entirely to applying a triple shot to your bow, they can fundamentally allow these weapons to act entirely differently from one run to the next. As you find more cards across each of the five stages, the variety of what can occur in each run deepens. And since you can use TP to upgrade each card to work harder for you, it can make you an unstoppable force, but there is a caveat to that. Since each level is only about an hour long, you never hold onto that power for long. It’s not a system that saves this game in any meaningful way, but it does take a game that is largely boring and makes it slightly less so. 

Combat, regardless of the effects each upgrade can have within it is painfully boring and hit detection is often a guessing game. It also doesn’t help that the story moves in such a way where you only really fight maybe four of five enemy types. This causes the same ten or fifteen voice lines to repeat constantly. Even with South Park: Snow Day being a bit under five hours, you really start to feel the extreme repetition less than halfway through its campaign. While co-op does freshen up combat due to each player having their upgrades, as opposed to the AI new kids being pretty vanilla, nothing Snow Day attempts to do really provides a meaningful or engaging experience.  

Part of the recent South Park game’s charm has been customizing your new kid. Snow Day does feature the ability to do so, but much of it is tied to a series of challenges that you’ll take on to earn PP. This is the currency used to buy additional outfits. Honestly, I found the outfit I liked and used it during the whole campaign, never changing it once or feeling the need to grind away these unlocks to earn said currency. 

Additionally, you have a system called “My Perks” where you’ll use Dark Matter to upgrade your new kid. This system is fine for what it does as it boosts your health, stamina, and more. However, considering the game is only five hours long without repeating the same levels over and over again, you’ll only make a small fraction of progress across the whole mind map. While I understand the appeal of it is to force you to grind away at levels, there really isn’t a point to doing so as all it does is make your character stronger. If certain perks were tied to new weapons, additional cosmetics, or more, then there could be a viable reason for doing so. Hell, I’m shocked there isn’t some sort of randomizer to apply to each stage upon your first completion of the campaign, thus making each additional run to have something new to discover. 

South Park: Snow Day, likes its use of COVID here feels out of date across the board. The simplistic visuals feels several generations behind, and its shallow gameplay cannot be saved by a card system that shows some true promise. As a lifelong South Park fan, I know the series can produce strong and compelling video games because we have seen it done twice before. Snow Day is a massive misstep for the franchise as it could have brought a layer of depth and humor to it that could have made it excel. South Park is simply better than this and I worry we will never see the same highs as Stick of Truth and The Fractured But Whole again, and that’s a damn shame. 

Developer - Question LLC. Publisher - THQ Nordic/ South Park Studios. Released - March 26th, 2024. Available On - Xbox Series X/S, PS5, Nintendo Switch, PC. Rated - (M) - Violence, Blood, Strong Language, Mature Humor. Platform Reviewed - Xbox Series X. Review Access - Review code was provided by the publisher for the purpose of this review.